A 2 For You

When you first meet me, you might think that birds dress me in the morning, and bunnies and deer greet me at my window and sing me Disney songs. I know I have that initial vibe. But once you’ve spent about an hour with me, you might consider me a full blown cat lady.  And then once you really really know me, you’ll find that I curse like a pit bull loving Marion Grace. So I know that this information is going to shock you. 

I’m going to give you a second to take a deep inhale, open your mind up, and free yourself of the judgement you’re going to want to throw all over me here in a second.

Alright, are we ready?

Ok.

I don’t want anything to do with 99% of animals.

And, from the bottom of my heart that loves you and your beloved pet, I probably don’t want to hang out with your dog. 

That felt hashtag brave. Now that we’ve gotten the harsh reality out in the open, please allow me to explain. I believe you will understand here shortly.

My most dear friends are hardcore animal people. Not just people who send funny cat videos and ‘we don’t deserve dogs’ memes. I’m talking they either have more than 2 or 3 dogs/cats, they rescue animals, or they are just fierce advocates for animals. I can’t ever get away from animals because I love their humans WAY too much. And so I have become tolerant.

Ok, I am not a psychopath who hates animals. I want no harm to animals, I find them ADORABLE and I do love them, and I will very likely turn to veganism at some point. I just want to love them from a distance. 

I’ve given it a little thought and do you know what I think it is?

I’m in direct competition with them for your love.

Have you heard of the enneagram? If yes: keep reading. If no: quick! Go google ‘free enneagram test’ and take two tests for yourself, look up a brief description of a 2, then come back!

I’m a 2. That shouldn’t surprise you. Any stranger with a basic understanding of the enneagram could spot me as a 2 from a mile away. In fact, my introduction to the enneagram was maybe 10 years ago at a party I didn’t belong at where an older therapist whisked me away to a room alone to tell me that I was a 2. We hadn’t spoken at all before that moment. It was weird he did that, but y’know, he wasn’t wrong, and it was helpful information. 

So I’ve just been walking around this world, a hardcore 2, dying for people’s love. 

I AM a human puppy. I want to be your lap dog. I want you to love me the way you love a fluffy golden retriever puppy. I would have a full blown spasm at the window watching you approach the door and wait for you to hug me and tell me how cute and weird I am and then I’d let you fix me the same exact meal every day and be thrilled about it if it means just being around you. 

For most of my life I’ve had a genuine fear of dogs. My precious best friend, Courtney, a serious dog lover-specifically of the largest breeds with the loudest barks, the fastest runs, and the highest jumps, now mother to 3 giant dog babies (and 2 human people), benevolently locked up her 2 giant German Shepards every time I came to her house because she knew I was shaking in fear on the other side of the door as they barked.

And y’all, I’m allergic to your cats-so it never was worth the attempt because cat houses make it hard for me to breathe and my eyes feel like they’re going to explode out of my head. Though being allergic to them probably kept me from being a cat lady. They’re elusive, and I’m always trying to get the love from the ones who don’t want to give it, so I might’ve been the perfect cat lady…

That should tell you a lot about my dating life before Alex came around.

You may be wondering ‘what about Truvy’? if you’ve known me long enough to remember Truvy. And you’re right, what about Truvy? What made her different?

Let me tell you how I met Truvy.

My dear Nicole, with a heart at least 3 times the size of the average person’s, another one of those friends I was telling you about who is an animal rescue superhero, found Truvy, an abandoned pit bull, in a ditch by a carwash on Charlotte Ave in Nashville. At the time, she had another rescue dog in her small house, AND her sweet dog child, Cash (one of the few dogs I do like to be around). She simply didn’t have the space for another dog, and so she asked me if I’d like to take her. 

I had a whole apartment I happily shared with nobody, and a nice yard, but a very skeptical feeling around dogs. Only recently had I become comfortable with smaller/medium dogs, but I was still very nervous around larger dogs. She sent me a picture of Truvy. My initial thought was ‘you are completely out of your mind, that is a pit bull.’ She asked that I just keep an open mind because she could tell what a sweet soul she was. And trusting my loving friend, I agreed to meet her.

The photos Nicole sent me of Truvy before/after her rescue.

I was working at a studio at the time and she brought her over. 

Truvy, probably 45 pounds, not huge, but y’know…pit bull muscley…locked eyes with me, I swear she could tell I was nervous to meet her. She slowly walked towards me, instantly I was on the ground with her. 

This is NOT a typical reaction I have to dogs. Never had I gotten on the floor with a stranger dog. Aside from seeing Gloria for the first time, it is my only experience with love at first sight.

The difference with Truvy is that she got it. She calmly approached me. She was my sweet sweet precious, and she really was the exception to my distrust of animals.

Anyway, Truvy now lives the life of luxury in Maryland with my parents who love her more than their actual children. She licks their plates after all their meals and has multiple fluffy blankets my mom crocheted for her that she has to be wrapped in and they happily oblige.

This is a photo of Truvy and Nicole’s dog, Cash during their engagement photoshoot.

I distrust animals the way you might distrust people-initially wondering ‘how are you going to hurt me?’

That’s what’s going through my mind when I meet your dog. Well…that, and:

“Just let them freak out for a little bit, then when you don’t react, they’ll calm down and leave you alone”. AND/OR ‘Oh man, that is some horrible breath, do people just get used to the smell of their own dog’s breath because this is so awful, don’t inhale don’t inhale don’t inhale, oh lord please do NOT LICK ME.”

When I meet YOU, on the other hand, my tail gets to wagging. I want to know exactly what and who you are, and if you have bad breath, it makes me want to show you more love because oh man you might need it and I’ve got so much to give to you, and I want to adore you, and most of all, I want you to adore me. Not for ego purposes, I don’t need accolades or to be held in high esteem, I just need affection the way your dog does. I trust you instantly, I’m ready to tell you how awesome you are, and ready to show you love.

That is me, the 2. It’s probably too much. It’s a little in your face sometimes. But I just want you to like me. It’s ok if you don’t, I’m fine if you don’t, but I wish more than anything that you would because loving you is what I’m here for.

So in this age, the year of our lord two thousand twenty-one, in the midst and hopefully near end of a global pandemic, when many have acquired a new special furry soul, please don’t cancel me for being nervous around them. Please allow me to ignore them as they absolutely lose their shit. I wish I could be as happy to see them as I am to see you. I do think they are adorable and I love you even MORE seeing you love them. 

Also I know lots of animal loving 2s. Please don’t make me say ‘not all 2s’. But not all 2s. This is just how I 2.

And here are some more photos of the classiest pit bull I’ll ever know, the sweetest angel baby, Truvy.