Alexander The Great

Alex turns 39 today. We’re entering our 10th year together, 7 years married. It’s so hard to believe that we’ve been together this long, and ONLY together this long. He knew so confidently what I needed from the get-go that it’s hard to believe we haven’t known each other all our lives.

I’d like to tell you about Alex because for as word-vomitty as I am about myself, Alex will never be the guy who wants or needs to tell anyone about himself. He likes to work, he loves his mind being occupied in his work and his music, and, to him, that says everything he’ll need you to know. But I would like to share my experience with Alex because he is the most remarkable person I’ve ever known; how lucky this world would be if there were more Alex.

I’ve met so many wonderful people in life; so many talented and funny and beautiful people. I haven’t met a single soul quite like Alex and have zero expectations I ever will. I’m aware of my immense bias, but I wasn’t born to him, I selected him for these remarkable qualities. Alex came into my life and disrupted everything I thought I was, and what I thought I believed. He turned the universe into magic with his wonder, his curiosities, and his questions.

We fell in love in the spring of 2013. Spring is a perfect time to fall in love with all the fresh air and newness and sunshine and walks in the park holding hands. I was pretty lost and trying to figure out who I was, convinced I already knew. Bless. He was charming and funny in the getting-my-attention phase. He was the greatest accompanist to a female voice that I’d witnessed in town, which was appealing as one of those. I thought his arrangements of songs were unusual and his background vocals weren’t just the basic 5th below the girl melody. He was so different, but drew very little attention to himself, which is also unusual for a guitarist. And he really really liked me. He made that very clear. He ran to me with zero fear, wasn’t intimidated by anything I was throwing his way, and wasn’t afraid of getting hurt. It was a truly pure pursuit.

He pursued me in the classic way that a gal like me needed; absolute confidence, not for a second allowing me to let my hurt heart pass him up because I was scared, grabbing me by the shoulders, looking me dead in the eyes proclaiming to me: “I am the one for the job.” He made himself completely irresistible, even before revealing the entire world that he had inside. I remember one day we were casually chatting and I asked him to tell me a story. He went into a very lengthy science thesis on the universe using language I was unfamiliar with, but his eyes lit UP. I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing, and I may have comprehended about 6% of what he was saying, but I found out he was magic.

Alex would be mortified to read this, and even more that I posted it onto the forevernet. I’m sorry, Alex, you can’t be the world’s best kept secret forever, I need to shout it out. One in 8 billion kind of guy. He is charming to everyone who gets to talk to him, but is a secret introvert. Alex never needs anyone to know any particular thing about him except that he cares for you. He doesn’t care if you know or think he’s an intellectual or that he’s a beautiful musician because he is so devoid of ego. A real life Superman, a true leader.

The music world is filled with ego. Mine is as fragile as any, probably more. I pick up on everyone’s egos and insecurities, and I’m sure that all of my coping mechanisms for how I dealt with my insecurities were on full display with anyone I came across. Alex is constant. I’ve watched musicians attempt to “big time” him and he was completely unaware. Everyone is equal in his eyes, he won’t gossip, he won’t say an ugly thing about someone. Nobody’s success is a threat to his, he just wouldn’t even be tempted to go there. His opinions on peoples’ music were never personal, he was compassionate about the people whose music he didn’t love. I may have heard him mention someone wasn’t kind, but I’ve never once heard him outright shit-talk. I want to make clear to those who haven’t spent time in the entertainment industry-this is unheard of. It’s not a discipline in him, it’s how he freaking is…I am all the ugliest things that came out of the pursuit of music, jealous, judgmental. That doesn’t even live in him.

And of course, I just love and adore him. It’s so easy to. But I’m so influenced by him. He’s not guided by a religion, nothing is looking over his shoulder influencing him to be good…he just is. It’s the most beautiful thing to witness. We drive each other nuts and we’re more different than we are alike, but I think we’re both so astonished by each other and that’s why opposites work sometimes. I’m 100% feel, he is about 15% feel and 85% analytics. We’re growing and have so far to go in this life.

He is a seeker. He wants to work and learn 1000% of his life. I couldn’t be more confident in who I chose to have children with, and what lucky lucky girls they are to have him. He’s the fun one. He has a child’s heart, he’s still the kid looking up at the sky asking the questions, and now he gets to share that with Gloria and Helena. They’ll always prefer he reads the books at night instead of me. He plays guitar at bedtime. He can play make believe with stuffed animals like no other. He sparks wonder and excitement about the universe for them. He is the ultimate example of a loving partner; Gloria and Helena will always know how much their dad loves me.

I could write an entire book about him. I hope he feels as loved as he makes those around him feel. I don’t know if he’s programmed to receive this. If he knew the way people spoke of him when he’s not around, how beloved he is, he’d find a way to turn it around and light them up with love. I don’t know how I deserve him, I love him so much. He deserves a big beautiful year-long goodbye to his 30s, he’s done his 30s better than most! I’m so glad I’ve gotten to witness this decade of Alex, I feel like I’ve been 25 different people in this time and he’s been the same wonderful guy.

Happy birthday, my love. You deserve meat and bread pudding and quiet time to study. All of your girls are so in love with you and so devoted to you. You have the most beautiful strawberry head, my favorite shoulders, my favorite everything, you are a wonder forever and the true love of my life!